10 Most Unfortunate Car Names

Marketers do a great job of convincing us to buy stuff (often stuff we don't need) - but through the annals of history they have occasionally gotten things wrong. This is a list of the ten most unfortunately named cars.

Mazda LaPuta (in spanish: "the whore")

The car's name actually derivates from the book Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift, but go explain this to spanish speakers. For them, it means "the whore".

Mitsubishi Pajero (in spanish: "wanker")

The Spanish version ended up as "Montero", but still many spanish-speaking customer do have a wanker.

Nissan Moco (in spanish: "booger")

It was only marketed in Japan as such; otherwise it would have been a bad (nose) pick for spanish speakers.

Buick LaCrosse (in French: "masturbating teenagers")

When Buick launched the "LaCrosse" in Canada why couldn't it have come across as "the fancy pen on wheels," or something to do with archery? Nope, in French-speaking Quebec, the meaning is, of course, masturbating teenagers.

Chevrolet Nova (in spanish: "It Doesn't Go")

General Motors had a very famous fiasco in trying to market the Nova car in Central and South America. "No va" in Spanish means, "It Doesn't Go".

Opel Ascona (in Spain and Portugal: "female genitalia")

Why couldn't the "Opel Ascona" mean "little flower" or "cute worm," which would have been cause for just mild embarrassment? Instead, it means female genitalia in Northern Spain and parts of Portugal.

Honda Fitta (in swedish and norwegian: "cunt")

So why can only spanish speakers have genitalic cars? Here's one for up there: the Honda "cunt"

Daihatsu Charade

It's not really a car, it's just pretending! This was one of those econo-boxes that was not merely humiliating to drive, it embarrassed its owner each time its name was uttered. "I drive a Charade." Good-bye, prom date!

Dodge Swinger

You'll also find ads for these on the back pages of adult magazines. Okay, it was the '70s, but still - why not just call it the STD?

AMC Gremlin

Do you really want to own a car named after annoying small problems that are next-to-impossible to fix? Courtesy of the same folks who brought you the Pacer.

Crazy Marketing

World's Worthless Money

10 million Zimbabwean Dollars = US$4

If you think the American economy is bad, take heart that it’s nowhere near the ultra-super-hyperinflation in Zimbabwe, once one of the richest countries in Africa. The country’s central bank has recently issued a Z$100 billion note (yes, Z$100,000,000,000). So, what would a Z$100 billion note buy you? About two loaves of bread (it won’t even get you lunch - you’d need at least Z$250 billion for lunch).

So far this year, the country ravaged by hyperinflation has been forced to print 100-million, 250-million and 500-million notes in rapid succession. All of them are now almost worthless. has become common now for Zimbabweans to talk of their daily expenses in trillions (one trillion is 12 zeros).

500,000 vietnamese Dongs = US$30

An early-1980s U.S. embargo hobbled exports, leading to price controls and the printing of excess currency.

100,000 Indonesian rupiah = US$11

During the 1997 Asian financial crisis, the rupiah lost 80 percent of its value within months, sparking riots in Jakarta (and soon ending President Suharto's 32-year rule).

50,000 Iranian Rial = US$5

Since the 1979 revolution, Iran's inflation rate has hovered around 15 percent, thanks in part to ever-rising oil prices.

50,000 São Tomé Dobra = US$3.47

This African island nation's economy is tied to the volatile price of its chief export, cocoa, and is measured against its trading partners' robust euro.

10,000 Guinean Francs = US$2.33

In 2002, the mineral-rich African country refused to implement reforms mandated by the International Monetary Fund; foreign cash dried up, and the central bank printed too much money.

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Athletes donate their brains

SIXTEEN American athletes, including six former NFL players, have agreed to donate their brains to a program that will study the long-term effects of concussions, a founder of an organization running it said today.

"Our goal is for people to start taking concussions seriously,'' said Chris Nowinski, a former pro wrestler and an American football player at Harvard. "That means getting off the field when they receive them and finding ways to prevent them.''

The study is a joint effort by Nowinski's Sports Legacy Institute and the Boston University School of Medicine. They are collaborating in the new Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy.

Among former NFL players who have agreed to donate their brains after their deaths are Ted Johnson, Frank Wycheck, Isaiah Kacyvenski and Ben Lynch. Also participating are Noah Welch, who played in the NHL for the Florida Panthers last season, and Cindy Parlow, a former US women's football international.

"I shouldn't have to prove to anybody that there's something wrong with me,'' Johnson, a former New England Patriots linebacker, told The New York Times.

The 35-year-old's neurologist has pointed to Johnson's multiple concussions from 2002-05 as a cause of his permanent and degenerative problems with memory and depression.

"I'm not being vindictive. I'm not trying to reach up from the grave and get the NFL,'' Johnson added. "But any doctor who doesn't connect concussions with long-term effects should be ashamed of themselves.''

Nowinski has seen greater awareness to dangers from concussions. "Whereas three years ago I tried to speak on this issue and coaches were able to keep me out of their schools because they didn't want their kids to be scared,'' he said, "now, for example, we just ran all New Hampshire Pop Warner (kids football) head coaches through an educational program. They're now holding kids out much more often because they can recognize the concussions better.''

Nowinski said SLI is setting up a registry with the names of the people who have agreed to donate their brains and that Boston University will oversee the scientific aspects.

The center is expected to announce on Thursday that former Houston Oilers linebacker John Grimsley was the fifth deceased NFL player found to have brain damage commonly associated with boxers, according to the Times. Andre Waters, Mike Webster, Terry Long and Justin Strzelczyk were the first four.

"We support all research that would further the scientific and medical understanding of this injury, which affects thousands of people, athletes and nonathletes alike, every year,'' NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said.

"Hundreds of thousands of people have played football and other sports without experiencing any problem of this type, and there continues to be considerable debate in the medical community on the precise long-term effects of concussions and how they relate to other risk factors.''

Grimsley died in February of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in February that police ruled an accident. The NFL is conducting its own study on concussions, and Aiello expected the results to be published in 2010.

Swamp Soccer World Cup

Disney's secrets and sumbliminal messages

It's very interesting that dwarfs in Snow White represent 7 stages of addiction recovery an her name is White just like Cocaine.

White lion cubs

Three white lion cubs are fed in a wildlife zoo in Schloss-Holte Stukenbrock July 14, 2008. Both of the park's two rare white lionesses gave birth simultaneously to seven cubs on June 30.Three of the cubs are being hand-fed after their mother rejected them. REUTERS

Upside Down House

Dog Saves Owner By Dialling 911

A dog whose owner was having a seizure saved his life by calling the emergency services and barking down the line to raise the alarm.

Joe Stalnaker adopted German shepherd Buddy as an eight-week-puppy and trained him to use the phone if he began to have an attack.

Mr Stalnaker, of Scottsdale, Arizona, has suffered seizures for ten years after suffering a head injury during a military training exercise.

So when he got into difficulties, Buddy knew exactly what to do - hit the speed-dial button on the phone for 911.

On the tape of his call, he can be heard whimpering and barking after the operator answers and repeatedly asks if the caller needs help.

Police were sent to Mr Stalnaker's home, and after about three minutes Buddy can be heard barking loudly when the officers arrived.

Sergeant Mark Clark, of Scottsdale police, said Mr Stalnaker spent two days in a hospital and recovered from the seizure.

"It's pretty incredible," Sgt Clark said.

"Even the veteran dispatchers - they haven't heard of anything like this."

Mr Stalnaker's address is flagged in the force's computer system with a notification that a trained dog might call 911 when the owner was incapacitated.

Sgt Clark said Buddy has made two other 911 calls when Mr Stalnaker was having seizures.

Woman dialled 999 because rabbit didn't have floppy ears

Police have appealed to the public to stop making "frivolous" 999 calls after a woman phoned to complain that the rabbit she had bought did not have floppy ears.

She dialled the emergency number when she discovered that her pet's ears did not match their description in a newspaper advert.

In another abuse of the emergency services number, a man demanded police action because there were too many onions in his Chinese takeaway.

Operators also received calls from people who objected to being splashed by cars in wet weather, and one misguided 999 caller phoned to ask for the postcode of her local police station.

Central Scotland Police, which revealed details of some of the stranger calls it had received in the past year, said they could put lives at risk by delaying the response of the emergency services to life-or-death situations.

In one call, a man reported being soaked by a car driving through a puddle as he walked along a pavement.

Just moments before, a woman caller had made a similar complaint. When she was told that it was not appropriate to call 999 about being splashed by water she verbally abused the call handler.

Chief Insp Alan Stewart said: "It is unbelievable that anyone should phone 999 to report being soaked by a passing car, ask for a postcode or report that the item bought from a newspaper advert was not as described.

"These are examples of how people clearly do not think when they pick up the phone and dial this number. While officers and staff are dealing with these frivolous matters they are not dealing with genuine emergency calls."

N.J. callers dialing Democrats get sex line

NEWTON, N.J. - A misprint in a telephone book has led to some callers dialing a phone sex service while trying to reach a New Jersey political organization.

A listing for the Sussex County Democratic Committee in Embarq's white pages sent people to a sultry female voice inviting them to pay for sex chat. Embarq spokesman Glenn Lewis told The New Jersey Herald of Newton that a transposition error caused the last three digits of the Democrats' phone number to be misprinted.

He said the listing has been corrected in Embarq's directory assistance database.

The organization's 800 number listed in the book's yellow pages was correct. Source - CNEWS

Human breast milk on the menu

A Swiss gastronomist has stirred a controversy in the tranquil Alpine republic after announcing that he will serve meals cooked with human breast milk.

The owner of the Storchen restaurant in the exclusive Winterthur resort will improve his menu with local specialities such as meat stew and various soups and sauces containing at least 75 per cent of mother's milk.

"We have all been raised on it. Why should we not include it into our diet?" Hans Locher, who has become Switzerland most controversial restaurant owner, said.

Mr Locher attracted the attention of the leading media of the German-speaking world this week after he posted ads looking for women donors, who will receive just over three pounds for 14 ounces of their milk.

He said: "I first experimented with breast milk when my daughter was born.

"One can cook really delicious things with it. However, it always needs to be mixed with a bit of whipped cream, in order to keep the consistency."

The food control authority in Switzerland was initially confused by the apparent loophole in local legislation regulating the use of human milk and it was not clear whether Mr Locher could actually be banned from serving his specialities.

"Humans as producers of milk are simply not envisaged in the legislation.

"They are not on the list of approved species such as cows and sheep, but they are also not on the list of the banned species such as apes and primates," Rolf Etter of the Zurich food control laboratory said. - Source telegraph.co.uk

Man catches catfish with Barbie

A man in the US has managed to catch and land a record-breaking catfish on a Barbie fishing rod just 2-and-a-half feet long.

David Hayes and his 3-year-old granddaughter Alyssa were angling in the pond behind his Wilkes County home when she asked him to hold her rod while she nipped to the loo.

"They hadn't no more than closed the door than the cat hit the cricket and took off," Mr Hayes told the Hickory Daily Record.

"He turned the water over and I saw his tail was about as wide as my two hands."

Alyssa returned to find her grandad battling with the monster fish.

"She said, 'Papa, you're going to break my rod,' because it was bent double," said Mr Hayes.

After 25 minutes, the pink plastic toy prevailed and Mr Hayes landed the 21 lbs,1oz catfish on the 6 lbs test line.

At 32 inches long, it was 2 inches longer than the rod.

A state fisheries biologist from North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission has certified the record, which was nearly three pounds over the previous mark.

Swearing parrot ruffles feathers at zoo

A PARROT is worrying staff and scaring children at a zoo by telling visitors to "f*** off".

Max the five-year-old African grey parrot was donated by a previous owner who got fed up with his expletive-laden chatter.

Keeper Peter Hansom at South Park birdhouse in Darlington, in the north of England, blamed schoolchildren for teaching Max, a five-year-old African grey parrot, the obscenity.

He told London's The Sun: “He’s a bright chap and easily picked it up. There’s no knowing when he’ll blurt it out. I hold my breath when parents stand with small children at his cage.

“Sometimes he will just say ‘hello’ or ‘bye’ but as often as not it’s ‘f*** off’.

“His favourite trick is to stick his head in a tin cup in his cage and then swear. He seems to know it makes a louder sound.”

Priest smokes weed

A CATHOLIC priest is being watched by police around the clock after they uncovered a field of cannabis he claims is a gift from God.

Father Cyril Papudov, of Petrich, Bulgaria, has been arrested seven times but police have never caught him actually cultivating the crop.

He claims the cannabis seeded by itself and is part of God's gift of nature and nothing to do with him.

A police insider said: "There has been a great deal of suspicion over the years about what is going on with these plants.

"He is a man of the cloth and so a lot of people don't want to think badly of him but frankly if someone has a huge crop of cannabis in their back garden it's highly unlikely they are just sitting there admiring its horticultural properties."

Police are now planning a 24-hour surveillance operation.

The police insider added: "Although the man involved is a member of the clergy we feel this surveillance is necessary.

"By keeping a watch on the plants we can make sure this is the case and put an end to any suspicions over the purpose of these plants once and for all."

Elephant Beats Heroin Addiction

An elephant that was successfully weaned off its heroin addiction has been allowed to go home after three years in rehab.

The four-year-old Asian elephant named Xiguang - or Big Brother - by state media in China took part in a detox programme on the tropical island province of Hainan.

The pachyderm was captured by animal smugglers in 2005 and fed heroin-laced bananas so he could be controlled, according to Xinhua news agency.

Authorities caught up with the illegal traders and officials soon noticed there was something wrong with Xiguang.

The Beijing News website reported that his eyes kept streaming and he made continuous trumpeting noises.

Xiguang was eventually diagnosed as having heroin withdrawal symptoms and he was sent for treatment.

In rehab, the elephant was given methadone injections at five times the human dosage to cure his dependency.

The frequency of his shots was reduced after the first year as the elephant slowly bounced back.

After his three-year stint on the island, Xiguang was sent to a wildlife reserve in Kunming in south west China, the capital of the elephant's home province of Yunnan.

The Asian elephant is an endangered species, with fewer than 32,800 left in the wild, according to the World Wildlife Fund.

Murder Trial Calls Dog As Witness

A courtroom observing a French murder trial could be excused for thinking the presiding judge has gone barking mad.

In what is believed to be a world first, the investigating magistrate has invited a dog to take the stand as a witness.

Scooby will give evidence as he is believed to have been with his 59-year-old owner when she was found hanging from the ceiling of her Paris flat.

Police believe the death was suicide, but her family cry murder - and the only witness to see the alleged crime is on four legs.

It is hoped Scooby can collar the potential perpetrator, having already played a leading role during a preliminary court hearing in Nanteree, a Paris suburb.

He is said to have hounded a suspect, "barking furiously" after being taken out of the kennel and into the witness box by a vet.

French judge Thomas Cassuto praised the mongrel for his "exemplary behaviour and invaluable assistance".

But lawyers barked back - insisting the bizarre spectacle "proved nothing".

One said: "Human evidence is unreliable enough, let alone canine evidence.

"Besides, the victim died two and half years ago, which is seventeen dog years! How is the animal supposed to remember that far back?"

A spokesman for the Palais de Justice in Paris confirmed that the appearance was the first time a dog had appeared as a witness in criminal proceedings in France.

He said: "It was a preliminary hearing. The judge will now decide if there is enough evidence to go to trial."

Firefighter gives cat mouth-to-mouth

A lucky cat owes one of its nine lives to a firefighter who revived it with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Al Machado rescued the cat from a burning apartment in Massachusetts on Tuesday, and told The Standard Times of New Bedford that he saw immediately that it needed air. Machado began performing mouth-to-mouth on the animal as he carried it outside.

Video shot at the scene shows Machado bent over, breathing into the cat's mouth several times. The cat, a tiger angora, was revived and resting comfortably soon after.

No humans were injured in the fire. A man and woman whose last known address was the building that burned were arrested and charged with arson, authorities said.

Two other cats died in the second-floor apartment, but two dogs there were saved with the help of oxygen from paramedics and animal rescue personnel. Pets on the other two floors - including a ferret and even some frogs on the first floor - were all saved.

Asked what it tasted like to give mouth-to-mouth to a cat, Machado laughed, grimaced and said: 'Like fur.'